Crossing the Finish Line

I never thought that this semester would utterly consume my every waking minute. Had I known though, I don't think I would have changed anything. I'm excelling in all of my classes and can finally see the finish line looming ever closer as the end of the semester draws near. After that I will be taking six classes through summer session, as long as my grant holds. Yeah, I did say six. It's going to be mountains of work but I want to get through to my degree and following summer session I will have only two classes that I need to take to graduate in the spring. The prospect of finishing is both exciting and exhausting. I can't wait to complete my degree, though I know that after I do, life will become more exhausting because I plan to plunge right back into the University. My dream is to earn a doctorate in English and an MFA in creative writing.

It has occurred to me that plodding along through school has not been at all unlike plodding my way through writing my two novel-length fiction works-in-progress. They too present their own set of challenges, sometimes on a daily basis. There have been days when I toy with the idea of abandoning the stories and not finishing. If you write at all then you know what I mean. The days when you're all out of fresh ideas, or you've reread over your material and decided it is terrible, and you have no talent and you might as well throw in the towel and go take a job in retail or some other underappreciated service industry.

But then after the whining and feeling a bit sorry for myself I return to my keyboard and pound out some words.

I have a rule that is working quite nicely for moments like that: I force myself to write 50 words in my manuscript - even if they really make no sense whatsoever. This always works for me, because before I know it, the ideas are flowing again and if nothing more is accomplished at least I feel better afterward because I was able to work through the creative crisis. It reminds me of the way I will push on through schoolwork even if it is something difficult, or far out of my comfort zone.

It gives me some peace realizing that I can work through enormous challenges by myself and that understanding of how I work and why the hell I do it in the first place encourages me to push on through school and my creative writing, because I know if I do, I will eventually cross the finish line.